December 24th: 'Platform' — The Word That Builds Nothing but Confusion

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Author: Jeppe Lillevang Salling - Date: 2024-12-24

Platform Engineering: The Savior We All Deserve

Platform engineering, oh how we love you. The promise of enabling developers, simplifying workflows, and abstracting away complexity—it’s the dream. Done right, platform engineering transforms chaos into clarity, letting teams focus on what matters most: delivering value.

We love platforms. We build them. We evangelize them. We even fight for them in rooms filled with budget-slashing executives. But here’s the rub: how do you talk about platforms in organizations where the term is abused, misunderstood, and twisted into a meaningless buzzword?

The Buzzword Binge: Platform Everything

Let’s face it: “platform” has become the ultimate corporate Rorschach test. What does it mean? Whatever the person in the room wants it to mean. Is it a hardware platform? A container platform? A developer platform? A data platform? Platform 9 3/4?

In theory, a platform provides tools, workflows, and infrastructure that make it easier for teams to build and deliver. In practice, it’s a black box term used to describe anything too complicated to explain—usually by someone who doesn’t want to touch it themselves.

Take this gem:

How Many Platforms Does It Take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

Let’s count them, shall we?

  1. Hardware Platforms – Your servers, switches, and hypervisors.
  2. Virtual Machine Platforms – Because why manage servers when you can manage VMs instead?
  3. Container Platforms – Kubernetes is life, right?
  4. Cloud Platforms – Oh, you’re still trying to stay cloud-agnostic? Adorable.
  5. Internal Developer Platforms – The holy grail for enabling teams (or so the sales pitch goes).
  6. Data Platforms – Big data, small data, all the data.
  7. Platform 9 3/4 – The only one with clear documentation.

Every year, the buzzword bingo gets another square. But does anyone stop to ask if all these platforms actually add value—or if they’re just another layer of complexity wrapped in enterprise jargon?

Defining Platform Engineering: Spoiler, It’s Not That Hard

At its core, platform engineering isn’t rocket science. It’s about building internal tools and systems that enable developers to work faster, safer, and smarter. It’s not about the tools themselves—it’s about the outcomes they deliver.

The CNCF defines it well:

Or as Team Topologies puts it, platform engineering teams are “enablers” for stream-aligned teams. Their mission? Build tools that developers actually want to use—not tools that satisfy a Gartner quadrant.

Platforms Are Not Magic Wands

Here’s where the reality check comes in. Platforms don’t solve organizational dysfunction. They don’t fix bad processes. And they certainly don’t replace leadership. But that doesn’t stop the term from being wielded as a get-out-of-jail-free card:

This is how you end up with “platforms” that no one uses, maintained by a team that no one listens to, in an organization that doesn’t even understand the problem it’s trying to solve.

The Final Dig: Platforms for Platforms’ Sake

If your platform strategy involves more PowerPoint decks than pipelines, you’re doing it wrong. If your platform exists solely to “align” stakeholders (we see you, December 1st), you’re doing it wrong. And if your platform is just a rebranding of your existing spaghetti infrastructure, congratulations—you’ve built a Platform of Pretend™.

Closing Thoughts: Build, Don’t Bluff

Here’s a radical idea: instead of talking about platforms, let’s build them. Let’s involve the people who’ll actually use them. Let’s measure success by outcomes, not slide decks. Because the best platforms are invisible—they just work.

And with that, Merry Christmas! May your platforms be robust, your teams empowered, and your buzzwords kept to a minimum. 🎄